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The Review - THEATRE by JOSH LOEB
Published: 31 July 2008
 
Oy vey! Only an old shlemiel would swallow these clichés!

HALPERN AND JOHNSON
New End Theatre

GIVEN that it has been performed in various foreign climes, and on the small screen starring Laurence Olivier and John Gielgud, Halpern and Johnson is a play that must be doing something right. Frustratingly, it is hard to work out quite what that something is.
Clearly there are enough theatregoers who like drama mild and inoffensive, so perhaps the play’s apparent drawbacks are the very characteristics that have ensured its success.
You watch with a smug sense of security stemming from the realisation that this is theatre that plays it safe and offers few surprises.
The story starts with Joe Halpern, widower of Florence, mourning at her graveside. A stranger called Dennis Johnson soon appears with a bouquet of flowers explaining, much to Halpern’s consternation, that he knew Florence. He initiates a second meeting between them, in which they confess their pasts and regrets.
Johnson and Florence “stepped out” together before she met Halpern and curtailed their romance.
But Johnson’s love for her remained strong. Now that Florence is dead, the two men’s different memories of her form the basis of a new bond between them.
The script contains some witty lines but too many are cringe-worthy and old fashioned, such as when Halpern threatens to knock Johnson “into the middle of next week” – the sort of thing you might expect from a Neighbours or EastEnders character but which sounds silly in a play like this.
 Halpern is Jewish. He says schlep and schtup and complains his ageing body can “hardly tackle a crusty bagel”. Where once this threadbare Yiddish and self-deprecation might have charmed, it now seems like a lazy way to raise a laugh – clichéd and somewhat complacent.
But, despite all that, many people will probably enjoy this well enough.
Until August 31
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