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Nervous? Use the old switcheroo gag
I’M worried. I think they have bottled it. They have
been up there all season and now find themselves in fourth place
desperately trying to hold on.
I can’t stop thinking about it. I just want them to fulfil
their potential. Can they do it? Can Grimsby hold on to fourth
place in League Two for a play-off place?
 Ah!
The good old switcheroo gag there. Made you think I was worried
about Spurs. Stupid. I hate Spurs. I really hate Spurs. I hate
Spurs more than Man United. I hate Spurs more than Chelsea (just).
I hate Spurs more than Leeds, Liverpool and Luton. I hate them
more than anything. More than Prince Charles hates dreadful
Nicholas Witchell. More than Superman hates Nick O’Teen,
the yellow fingered cigarette-seller at the school gates. More
than Robbie Williams hates Derren Brown for sticking needles
in his arms. And more than Alan Hansen hates Gavin Peacock.
OK. I’m not sure whether Alan Hansen hates Gavin Peacock
but I bet he’s wondering “who the fudge are you?”
when the two sit next to each other in the Match of the Day
studio. What that all means is: Come on you Gunners this Saturday!
 I’VE
been taken to task in the past for not supporting England’s
representatives in Europe.
So, difficult as it is, I wish the boys in red lots of luck
in their Euro semi-final.
But enough of Middlesbrough and that Romanian team with a name
that sounds more like a fancy chair from Habitat than a footy
club.
 I’m
more interested in the game that’s getting the Gooners
in a tizzy – the last ever visit to Highbury by the super
Spurs.
Fingers crossed Sol Campbell’s nose can be straightened
in time for the big match; I’d hate to be so engrossed
in his face that I miss out on the talent he has in his feet.
I only hope Robbie Keane remembers where to put his dainty pair
on Saturday. Sorry cowboy, but I could have chucked a leg of
lamb at that cross against Man Utd and got the ball in the back
of the net.
Talking of which, I was sorry to see Alan ‘Mr Personality’
Shearer might never entertain us with his one-fingered salute
again.
Especially if it means the shiny-trousered one will go ahead
with his plan to bore us all into submission on Match of the
Day each week.
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